The traditional yule fear factor. This issue seems to be much more important to folks this year. At least I've noticed it much more. In fact, last night the fam and I were out to dinner and there was this nice older couple sitting at the table next to us that our nearly one-year old son was having a great time waving, clappping, and smiling at. The man had a good white beard and they were joking that my boy thought he might be Santa Claus. When we left, they said "Merry Christmas," and then the woman said, "uhh, or if you celebrate Kwanzaa, or, uhh...." We assured them it was okay. But I'm having enough trouble getting in the Christmas spirit with our frickin' sunny, cool, no snowing weather around here, I just want to be able to exchange a "Merry Christmas" in public without fear of offending people.
I don't want to put any of our non-Christian readers and members on the spot--like I'm about to do--but can we get a ruling on this? Would you offended by a Merry Christmas from someone who didn't know you were not Christian? Ah heck, let's put this out in the open: we're mostly talking about Jews here (BIAS ALERT: I don't care about Kwanzaa, I don't know what it really is, I don't know anyone who takes it seriously. Maybe that says something about my narrow perspective, but somehow I don't think so.) My wife and I do the "Happy Holidays" thing with our Christmas, er, Holiday cards because we know we have quite a few Jewish friends out there, but that isn't what I'm talking about. I would not be offended in the least if I said "Merry Christmas" to a stranger and they said, "Well, I'm Jewish, but thanks for the sentiment, and Happy Holidays to you, too." Is it a big deal for Jews to admit being Jewish to strangers in North America in 2004? Honestly, I want to know.
I hope not, because we must make this a world where fear of bigotry does not stand in the way of friendly civility. If Christmas is to have a meaning that everyone, of every faith or lack thereof, can agree on, it should at least be that.
So with all the brotherly love I can muster: Merry Christmas everyone, and Happy Holidays, too.
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4 comments:
I guess as the resident diversity here, I get to comment on Tom's post. Apparently this issue is becoming a big news item, although I've only seen it in second-hand articles. Maybe it's part of some post-election news/columnist letdown. I dunno.
Personally, I've never had a problem being wished (or wishing) a Merry Christmas. I generally prefer saying "Happy Holidays", especially when there's any religious uncertainty, just because it's usually simpler and raises fewer doubts. But for someone who I know is celebrating Christmas, I'm more than happy to say "Merry Christmas" with no feeling of having betrayed my religion. Of course, maybe we could solve a lot of problems by all agreeing to go OC and celebrate Chrismaka (sorry, had to throw that in there).
So Tom, I wish you a Merry Christmas, and rest of the Big Tenters, Merry Christmas -and- Happy Holidays. As for me, I'll be celebrating a traditional Merry Christmas (Jewish version) with my family: Chinese restaurant for dinner, then a Christmas Eve movie (probably Aviator), and finally a Christmas Day movie (still undecided). I'll let you know how many "Merry Christmases" I get.
One more thing. I sure hope Lileks meant sour cream with his latkes. Because if he put cream cheese on them, eww!
This is something that had really not noticed until this year; more specifically until after I read this post. Working in a call center, I talk to quite a few people during the day and thought I would try to take a kind of unofficial survey. So far almost every person that has mentioned the holidays have said "Happy Holidays"; the only people who have wished me a Merry Christmas have been elderly. I don't know if this says anything or not, but I think it does.
As for being politically correct or what not, I don't see anything wrong with wishing someone a Merry Christmas, regardless of wether or not they are Christian. If I were Jewish and some one wished me a Merry Christmas, I would repy, "and Happy Hannukah to you". I don't think that would be rude, but maybe that's me.
-Marine II
I don't speak for all Jews (I haven't even been elected a representative of some of them) but I don't think I'm that unusual. Here's what goes through my mind when I have to decide whether to "come out" on the fly: There are a lot of people out there with really weird ideas about what Jews do and are, and a lot more with no clue whatsoever. Do I have time to explain? How likely is it that this person cares, or is it a perfunctory "Have a nice day"-like tic? Do I care, at this particular moment?
Is it a big deal? Well, I don't have a problem saying "Merry Christmas" back, since someone who says that almost certainly is a celebrant. But it's a constant mildly grating strain, to be honest.
With people who know me, I'll tolerate "happy holidays" though I'd rather get a card around the High Holy Days than for Hanukkah or New Years. I don't have a problem with holiday cards as a social convention, and since a lot of folks put out the trouble to send updates and pictures, it's nice to hear from friends. But, if you know who's Jewish and who isn't, why not send out Merry Christmas cards to your Christian friends and Solstice/Hanukkah/New Years/Christmas Season cards to the rest of us (I mean "us" in the general sense, since I'm not on any Big Tenters' mailing lists, as far as I know)?
Grinch-like? I don't go around wishing strangers best wishes for inscription in the book of life in September, or Chag Sameach when we're eating Matzo (though I do share apples and honey with my students, and matzo, at the appropriate times). There is a difference, there really is, between secular shared holidays and Holy Days. Why is that so hard to live with?
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