Thursday, December 15, 2005

It Has to Be On Purpose

I just got the latest Sports Illustrated, and inside they have a review of sports media for the past year--judging the best and worst sports books, movies, websites, and television. On page thirty-six begins a Chris Ballard article that breaks all previous records for unintentional comedy. The headline: "Still Going Deep" (reg. required). The subheadline: "No football commentator -- not even that guy with the video game -- packs more wisdom into his words than hardworking CBS color man Phil Simms."

If that wasn't enough, the article begins with Simms getting ready to do color commentary for the Broncos-Chiefs game. I quote:

Phil Simms is fired up. He has seen something he must point out, so he leaps off his chair and toward the flat-screen TV in his home office, in Franklin Lakes, N.J. ... As part of his exceedingly thorough preparation, he is watching a coach's tape of the Broncos' previous game that shows all 22 players from above, allowing him to see how plays unfold. (He also watches broadcast tapes to avoid repeating other announcers' observations.)

"See how the cornerback breaks here," he says, indicating Denver's Champ Bailey. "He reads [Dallas quarterback] Drew Beldsoe and comes up on it! ... If Bailey doesn't break, it's not an interception."
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Yep.

(I swear to God I did not make up any of this.)

7 comments:

Stephen said...

Over the last two years I have had no less than 12 phone conversations about how Phil Simms is the worst commentator on television.

greg said...

Tim McCarver is right up there, too.

Stephen said...

And what's with the dig at Madden. I think the MNF duo is the best team on pro-football.

Tom said...

In addition to Madden, Troy Aikman and Daryl Johnston are both better color men than Simms.

Stephen said...

Aikman is great. I haven't seen Johnston enough.

Paul said...

We were on a cruise in November, watching the Falcons-Lions game on closed circuit. No commercials, just field and crowd shots during the breaks. Sometimes you can hear the announcers talking during this time. Before the game started, Troy Aikman busts out with, "Did that last shot looked f**ked up to you?" Still get a smile thinking about it.

Football- Dick Stockton is underappreciated. ESPN Sunday night crew is awful.
College- Give me Keith 'oh nelly' Jackson any day.
Baseball- Joe Buck is awful (baseball and football). I really enjoyed when NBC had the World Series and Bob Costas and Bob Uecker were on.

greg said...

Yep, give me Uecker and Costas any day over Buck and McCarver. John Miller on ESPN is great, Morgan brings him down though.