Sports Guy Review of Two for the Money

Here. He was late for the show because there was a long line for the Mommy Movie:

What's the Mommy Movie, you ask? Every Monday at 11:00 a.m., the Grove's giant theater complex features a female-friendly movie (translation: chick flick) and 200-250 mothers attending the movie with their babies and young toddlers. Everyone parks their strollers outside the theater, almost like motorcyclers parking their Harleys outside a Johnny Rockets, then haul their kids inside to watch the movie. To drown out the sound of 150-200 screaming kids, they turn the volume in that specific theater up to Mile High Stadium-level proportions. And the Moms happily sit there breast-feeding their babies and watching the flick.

Why do I know this, you ask? Because the Sports Gal and her friend, Melissa, are frequent patrons of the Mommy Movie (or as I like to call it, 'MILF Mondays'). One time I peeked my head in the theater during a Mommy Movie -- the conditions were so startling and disturbing, I kept expecting to see Tucker Carlson angrily running around with a microphone and snapping at ushers. Shirtless kids running around, babies yelping, exposed breasts everywhere -- and in the middle of this chaos, 200-250 females calmly watching a chick flick at 600,000 decibels. If you're looking for the exact opposite of a sports book in Vegas, this is it.

When the Devil is making me pick between pork or beef for all eternity, we will be standing in the middle of a Mommy Movie.