Big Tent News Report

Headline: Stupid President Can Read, Sources Say

President reads books, some without pictures.

CRAWFORD, Texas -- In an unexpected twist to Bush's vacation, sources report that the president can and does read books that do not consist primarily of pictures.

In the midst of a quagmire in Iraq, a crashing economy at home, and a heat wave driven by his administration's refusal to sign the Kyoto protocols, Bush has been relaxing in his air conditioned Crawford ranch. He has kept himself somewhat busy, even as he ignores the desperate pleas for a meeting with the grieving mother of a soldier who died in Iraq. She is one of many parents in mourning over thousands of sons and daughters lost in the controversial war that experts compare to the disaster in Vietnam.

Bush, a mediocre student in his school years, apparently has learned to read and is applying that skill to books filled with facts and information that have not been cleared by Vice President Dick Cheney or any of the White House staff.

In addition, sources indicate that some of the books on the president's reading list were written by authors who have been critical of the president's administration. It is unclear how these authors managed to survive the term of controversial Attorney General John Ashcroft and the provisions of the Patriot Act, a law critics say fundamentally challenges the civil liberties upon which the country was founded.

Reports that the president marks the books in crayon have not been confirmed.

(Hat tip to the Corner)