Happy Returns

I'm back from Christmas in Colorado. By far the funniest message I found upon my return came from my best friend, a lawyer:

A seven year old boy was at the center of a courtroom drama last week when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of the boy. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge awarded custody to his aunt. The boy confirmed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and refused to live there. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents the boy cried out that they beat him more than anyone. The judge allowed the boy to choose who should have custody of him. Custody was granted to the Cleveland Browns this morning as the boy firmly believes that they are not capable of beating anyone.