Note of warning: If you are Steve M., the second part of this post will make you sad. I care not.

Saw the movie "Miracle" last night, and enjoyed (again) watching a bunch of American kids beat the seasoned, well-trained, and intimidating Evil Empire Soviet Hockey Team. The movie captured so well the looks of confusion and fear that emerged on those Soviet faces as the knowledge dawned that they were about to lose for the first time since the Stone Age (of hockey). I, along with fellow members of the Peanut Gallery, played Mystery Science Theatre 3000 with those dumbfounded faces--the "I'm going to the Gulag" face, the "Will They Charge My Family For the Bullet" face, and, of course, the "How do you say---Defection?" face. Classic.

Then I woke up this morning and read that the newest incarnation of the Evil Empire just created a $500 million infield by swapping a strikeout prone second basemen, a bag of pretzels, a Yorkshire Terrier named "Mimi" and three jars of pickles to Texas for A-Rod. However, though the skies darkened, I do not believe that this convergence of the two Evil Empires within hours of one another is a coincidence. I therefore interpret this as a divine signal that, like the CCCP losers portrayed in that great movie, so too will this decidedly nefarious monolith known as the New York Yankees implode short of their goal of walking easily to the next World Series title. And the next one. And the one after that. And so on, yadda yadda yadda (Bronx cheer).

Wow, on paper they sure are good. But paper burns easily, and this team's chemistry is more explosive than ever before. Their owner is spending money like he's on a Gambler's Anonymous retreat in Vegas with Daddy Warbucks and Pete Rose with free run of all three of Terry Benedict's casinos, their excellent manager and GM are most likely gone by the end of the year, and they are saddled with the combined GNP of France, the Benelux countries, and downtown Tokyo for the next decade plus. Should be fun in a few years when the Yankees can't afford to pay their rent and also are responsible for paying for the air defenses along the eastern seaboard.

Mix in a lefthanded pitcher, Costanza. Oh, youth helps too.

The pressure is all on Them. Every other team in baseball is now the 1980 U.S. Olympic Hockey Team. Only One Favorite. A Bunch of Underdogs. Have fun, gentlemen. And here's hoping for the onset of another Yankee Nuclear Winter like 1983-1995. May they collapse as completely and quickly as the Evil Empire before them. Say it with me---Yankees Suck. Say it again. In the honor of the late Herb Brooks, the 1980 U.S. Olympic Hockey Coach:

Again.